A few weeks ago I was searching for some GIFs for my last blog: 9 Tools to Realign Your Inner Self and Get Back on Track, and as I was searching there was one that said, “Black Women, let’s normalize Luxury” - this caught my attention immediately! Not only was it interesting but it was also something I could relate to on a personal level. I started to think about how in the past some people joked and called me “bougie” because I was always “put together” they would say, or how I liked things a certain way or had a certain preference on eating or shopping, and in my mind, I would be like what in the world did I do? I just like the finer things, what is wrong with that?
Well, I am not going to lie, this made me a bit self-conscious and start to shy away from wanting more luxurious things in my life because first, I didn’t want people thinking that I thought I was better than them, and secondly, I was beginning to feel guilty for wanting finer things in life! 😩 I was allowing other people’s perceptions and opinions of me to deter myself from what I really wanted in my life. What they were saying jokily, affected me in more ways than one. All the jokes, opinions, and perceptions, had me thinking that I was doing something wrong because of the type of lifestyle that I wanted to build for myself and my future family.
So why did I bring inner healing and wholeness into this luxury and normalization conversation? Because for me, in order to normalize this, I believe that it starts with healing parts of ourselves that may not believe we deserve the best and also understanding the false beliefs that we may have about ourselves and luxury. There are many beliefs that are instilled in us growing up, from family, from friends, from the world, the list can go on, that makes us think that: It is bad to have money, Going to therapy is weird, You have to be strong and suppress...
Some of the popular phrases of “Oh they think they better because…”, or “Dang, you spent how much on that? I would never…” I mean there are so many different things that we have either heard, been around, or seen, which has caused each of us to have a specific mindset around how we view certain situations. Trust me I had these same beliefs and mindset, and as I worked on healing and breaking everything down, my mind started to renew, and my outlook started to change. One thing I challenge you to do that I have done is ask yourself: Do I need to heal, break down, and/or overcome anything in my life in order to step into the life that I truly desire for myself?
I have been putting in the daily work and working hard on myself to be okay with the lifestyle “Brit” wants for her. There were many false beliefs that I had to break down, and triggers I had to heal from. I had to learn to accept the approval of myself vs approval from others and most importantly understand my truths. I had to understand that God does want me to be healed (Psalm 30:2), whole (Jeremiah 30:17), and wealthy (Deuteronomy 8:18), to enjoy life (Ecclesiastes 3:12-13), and be the head and not the tail, above and not beneath, the lender and not the borrower (Deuteronomy 28:12-13) - and He wants the same for you.
Why should you apologize for a lifestyle that you are building and investing in for yourself?
Don’t shut down the healing that you need to do for yourself to get to your next level, for anyone. Don’t close the door on what you truly desire, for anyone. Don’t stop chasing the woman that you want to become, for anyone. And if luxury is what you want, then go for it, and do it unapologetically.
To close this out I want to provide three quick tools of what I am doing to maintain this mindset of I am worthy and deserving of luxury and that it is not bad to want better or want to enjoy the things that we are blessed to have:
Use the power of visualization. I love Vision Boards and Pinterest for this! I have so many boards of homes, bathrooms, decor, fashion, self-improvement, etc, that help me visualize the type of life I am creating for me. I also utilize my Visions Guided-Journal to help me write down my visions, speak life into them, and do the faith and works part to help them come into fruition in divine timing.
Affirming myself daily with what is true about me
Continuously stepping into this version of me with full confidence and with a healthy self-image. I had to heal a lot of areas within myself that made me feel unworthy and undeserving of certain things, and I refuse to go back!
Normalizing inner Healing, Wholeness, & Luxury is not an overnight process, it is a journey that you have to nurture and maintain.
I invite and encourage any woman to be unapologetic about all of the work that she has done for herself, to get to a place where she is confident and has self-acceptance of who she is.
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Recommended Resources & Readings:
Visions Guided-Journal: Helps you envision and take your goals to the next level, but don't just stop there! Put action and real intention behind your thoughts and dreams.
Triggered Book & Workbook: An inner-healing workbook to help the ready woman uncover and heal from her emotional triggers
Visit www.britlashae.com for additional books, workbooks, & guided-journals.
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Hey you! My name is Brit Lashae, Writer, Author, & Founder of Journey Written ®️. I created this blog and tribe to share everything I have been learning about wholeness, peace, rest, and freedom. A life where you are the best version of yourself inside and out.